Installment One

I ride city transit everyday. Everyday. That makes me an expert.


There are some things I need to say...


First of all when you sit down almost ON TOP of someone and then they move over, this is NOT and invitation for you to move closer to them. They are trying to get away from you. This is not an invitation to squish them into the corner. And they are not making more room for you on the seat, they are simply trying to breathe their own air.


Secondly, if you're going to ride transit please refrain from being disgusting...even if it comes naturally. Not everyone appreciates your unusual ability to be grotesque. So things such as picking your teeth with an earring and then putting said earring back in your ear or wearing pants that don't fit over your large belly so that they fall off when you stand up are not acceptable.


Thirdly, SHOWER. Say it with me SHOWER. It's no surprise that riding transit during rush hour means being shoved like sardines into a small, enclosed, sometimes hot space and as such, showers are a necessity. We do NOT want to smell what you had for dinner last night on your skin or the odor you give off because you refuse to clean yourself. Small cramped spaces are not a good place for these smells. If someone told you they were...they LIED. So please, shower...or else DON'T ride transit out of respect for people with noses. Thank you.


This concludes the first installment of Miserable Bologna: My Life in Public Transit.